


should i sign ‘xoxo’?

by kagehinataboke



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Awkward Romance, Bad Flirting, Confessions, Drama, Falling In Love, Feels, Humor, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-01 01:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagehinataboke/pseuds/kagehinataboke
Summary: Hinata has had a crush on Kageyama Tobio for as long as he can remember, and he’s been too shy to talk to him for equally as long. why he even left an anonymous note for him in the first place, he isn’t sure, but he definitely never expected a reply—or to be asking his best friends, “should i sign ‘xoxo’?”— based off my one-shot “lost in translation”!





	1. anonymously

Hinata gets up at the same time every single day, and he has for the past three years: 6:30 AM, no earlier and no later. But today his alarm goes off exactly forty minutes late. By the time he realizes he’s slept in, another ten minutes have passed and the clock now reads a dismal 7:22.  
  
His mother and sister are already long gone, so there’s nobody to hear his yelp when he stubs his toe on the edge of the bed, or to see him trip his way down the stairs while tugging on his school uniform. This malfunction just has to happen _today_ , of all days. He wanted to watch the volleyball team practice. He has morning cram school every day except Thursday—today—so he won’t get another chance for a whole week.  
  
But nevermind the volleyball: he’ll be late to his first class. Drooling over the captain Kageyama Tobio’s messy morning hair will have to wait for another day. He was so looking forward to it, too... Of course, not to say his little crush—okay, _big_ crush—takes priority over school. Obviously not. But who wouldn’t be inspired to do their best work after tattooing the image of a sweaty, muscled volleyball player all over the inside of their eyelids?  
  
_Okay, stop it with the desperation,_ Hinata scolds himself, catching the mental image before it can get too far. Yachi made him promise not to be too pathetic with his crush, yet he’s already lovesick so early in the morning. Then again, he _did_ want to wake up on his day off just to see Kageyama practice.  
  
Crap. It’s not _his_ fault: It’s impossible to focus when such a gorgeous human being is constantly in his orbit. Hinata can still remember the very first time he saw him. He seemed so ethereal, walking through the halls in his volleyball club uniform like he was already the team’s ace, despite only being a first-year. His intense blue eyes had left Hinata feeling like he was on a tilt-a-whirl after just a single glance.  
  
Being a member of the soccer team, he git to see Kageyama fairly often at intramural sports gatherings, but his otherworldly aura made it impossible to approach him. As the years went by, Hinata’s courage didn’t grow in the least. He admired Kageyama from afar, climbing the ranks in the soccer team with the slimmest hope of being noticed. But he never was. Kageyama was focused on his own goals, and Hinata was invisible, even after he made captain of the soccer team.  
  
It‘s a pining, unrequited sort of love that probably won’t ever go anywhere... yet Hinata can’t help how strongly he feels. If there’s such a thing as a fated encounter, he knows it was that day he and Kageyama locked eyes for the first time. But why, then, is he still a nobody? He’s less than a blip on Kageyama’s radar. They haven’t even _spoken_ to each other.  
  
It makes him depressed to think about it. Yachi will tell him that to get results, he has to perform a trial—which is just a fancier way of saying, “Grow a pair.”  
  
Speaking of Yachi: Hinata’s phone vibrates with a worried text from her. ‘Where are you? It’s almost 7:40 and class starts in twenty minutes.’  
  
She’s stating the time as if she knows exactly where he is: only just stumbling out the front door with one shoe on, running back inside to grab his bag. She _does_ know him well enough—and is a good enough friend—to send another text saying, ‘I’ll stall the teacher for as long as I can.’  
  
Hinata doesn’t have time to reply, sprinting down the sidewalk like it’s going to disappear underneath his feet. The train will be faster than taking his bike, but if he doesn’t make it to the station by 7:45, he’s out of luck. His mom is right when she says he’s the type of person who will be late to their own funeral.  
  
7:42: He’s going to make it. The train ride to school is only ten minutes, so there will be just enough time to get to class. Yachi won’t even have to stall. She’ll still scold him for being careless, but he probably deserves it. From today on, Hinata swears he’ll make an effort to act on his crush—or just get rid of it.  
  
It’ll be easier if he forgets about Kageyama entirely. He’s is busy enough worrying about college as it is... Really, how hard can it  be to get over a simple crush?

 **❤~❤~❤~❤~❤**  
  
“I’m dying.” Hinata‘s head hits the cafeteria table with a dismal _thwack!_ “He’s wearing cologne today... It smells like sweat and lavender and sunshine. I want to marry him.”  
  
“Sunshine doesn’t have a smell.”  
  
“Yes it does, Yamaguchi,” Hinata replies impatiently, “because it’s what _he_ smells like. He walked right past me and I almost screamed.”  
  
“What’s going on with you?” Yachi asks, eyes full of friend-concern. “You were almost late to class, and you didn’t pay attention the whole time.” She pulls a face. “You kept muttering to yourself, too. You looked possessed.”  
  
Yamaguchi points his chopsticks at her in agreement. “Yeah, Yacchan is right. Are you so obsessed with Kageyama now that you can’t even sleep at night?”  
  
“ _No_.” Hinata crosses his arms smugly. “On the contrary: I’ve made up my mind to either act on my feelings, or just forget about them.” He deflates a little. “Since I still don’t have the courage to approach him, I guess it’ll have to be the latter...”  
  
“Hey, don’t get discouraged.” Yachi nudges him lightly, glaring at Yamaguchi when he starts to say something. “We’re your best friends, so we’ll obviously _both_ support you no matter what.” She smiles softly. “I know we give you a hard time about it, but you obviously like him a lot. You shouldn’t get rid of your feelings without at least _trying_ to convey them first.”  
  
“You’re right.” Hinata frowns at the table as if it might hold the answer to his problems. “But... how do I _do_ that, exactly?”  
  
“Try writing it down,” Yamaguchi suggests around a mouthful of rice. “I hear that’s a good coping mechanism for dealing with difficult emotions.”  
  
“Yes!” Yachi rips a sheet of paper from her notebook and slides it over to Hinata along with a chewed pencil. “Go for it. Maybe it’ll clarify some things for you.”

Hinata taps the paper with the tip of his finger. “What should I say, though? It feels like talking to myself.”

“Then write it as, um… as a letter to him,” Yachi says. “Like ‘Dear Kageyama, I’m so, _sooo_ crazy about you. Every morning, I wake up drooling over the mental image of your—“

Hinata slaps a hand over her mouth. “ _Not_ _funny_.”

“True, though,” Yamaguchi points out. “Just write your real feelings. It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

Hinata stares at the paper for a long time before he starts to write. It’s not formal, and he could never say any of it to Kageyama’s face, but it does feel good to get it all out. It’s somewhere along the lines of, _‘so hey Kageyama, you’ll never read this but i probably maybe am definitely in love with you? i mean yeah, i think ily?? um wow, ily???’_

It’s embarrassing to look at, but it’s not so bad when he realizes it’s anonymous: there’s no reason to be nervous. Hinata is able to put his feelings out there, even if he isn’t confident enough to sign his name to them. But if Kageyama sees something like this… how will he feel?

“Look, he’s smiling: I think it worked.”

“Actually, I don’t like the way he’s smiling. It’s like he has a stupid idea. Do you have a stupid idea, Hinata?”

“It’s not stupid!” Hinata stands up, grabbing his bag in one hand and the note in the other. “I’ll meet up with you guys later. I have to do something.”

“I really don’t like the sound of that,” Yachi says, sharing a nervous glance with Yamaguchi. “Don’t do anything _too_ crazy, okay?”

Hinata waves away the worry. “It’ll be fine: I’m anonymous!”

“What does that even mean?” Yamaguchi whispers in confusion.

Yachi shakes her head. “I don’t know, but it _can’t_ be good."

**❤~❤~❤~❤~❤**

Hinata stands in front of the message board beside the teacher’s lounge with thumbtacks he borrowed from the History teacher. He’s been waiting for the hallway to clear while trying to talk himself out of what is—as Yachi accurately guessed—a very stupid idea.

Posting his note on the community message board, even if it’s anonymous, feels insane. Kageyama probably won’t even see it: nobody other than unpopular clubs and teachers use the message board. But still, there’s a chance he _could_ see it. What will he think? He’ll just throw it away, right? People probably confess to him on a daily basis in more direct ways.

God, he’s so lame… Posting an anonymous note? _Ugh_.

Screw it. There’s no going back now: he’s already got the thumbtacks and everything. Nobody is around to see, so it’ll be just like shouting into the void. Like Yachi said, it’ll feel better to get everything out—even if the only one who knows he did it is himself.

“He probably won’t see it anyway,” Hinata mumbles to himself, pressing the note to the corkboard with shaking fingers.

“It’s fine, Shouyou. Totally fine. There’s nobody around, so it’s now or never.”

He stabs the four corners of the paper with tacks and immediately retreats before he can come to his senses. It’s done. The note is up there, where anyone can see it—including Kageyama.

Hinata doesn’t feel better. If anything, he’s worried that doing this isn’t enough to get rid of his feelings. Actually, it definitely isn’t. Picturing Kageyama in his head still makes his heart skip like a broken record, which means his feelings are no less hopeless than before.

At least he managed to have a bit of courage. He’ll go back and take the note down after soccer practice. Until then, Hinata swears he’ll think of another way to make his crush go away. Falling in love again would be ideal, but… how can he just _do_ that? Kageyama has been all he’s wanted for three years now.

Maybe Suga will have an idea: as the vice-captain, he always seems to give the best advice, both on and off the field. If nothing else, Hinata will at least have someone to talk to who isn’t intimately familiar with his Kageyama problem.

**❤~❤~❤~❤~❤**

“You did _what_ ?” Suga’s foot misses the ball, and he almost does a split on the field. “You posted it on the _message board_? As in the _public_ message board?”

“Yes?” Hinata retrieves the ball and kicks it between his feet anxiously. “You say that like it’s the worst possible thing I could’ve done.”

“Well…” Suga dusts the dirt from his shorts with a thoughtful frown. “I mean, it’s certainly _bold_. Are you sure you won’t regret confessing in such an open way? You said you’ve been struggling with your feelings for a while.”

“The thing is, I didn’t actually sign my name...” The ball comes to a standstill between his cleats, along with all Hinata’s remaining confidence over his actions. “Ugh. It _was_ a terrible idea, wasn’t it? I was already gonna go take it down after practice, but…”

“Hey, it’s _never_ terrible to get your feelings out there!” Suga reassures quickly. “If you didn’t sign your name, it’s fine. What you did is a type of courage in itself.”

Hinata hesitates, rolling the ball back and forth under his foot. He’s been stewing in his anxiety for so long that the idea of anonymity being courageous never occurred to him. “You… you really think so?”

“Absolutely!” Suga steals the ball from him and backpedals across the field. “Come on: practicing some passes will take your mind off it. You can worry when you’re off the field.”

Hinata chases after him, but his mind won’t stop racing. Even when practice is over and he’s walking back to retrieve his note, he has the weirdest feeling of unease. It’s like he’s missing something, but there’s nothing _to_ miss. Why, then, is the feeling only getting stronger

It all makes sense when he reaches the message board and finds it empty. The note is gone. The note is _gone_. Hinata scrutinizes every inch of the hallway, as if it might have somehow fallen and ended up twenty feet away. _Nothing_. It’s vanished into thin air.

But paper can’t do that, which means... someone _took it_.

Oh god. Someone took his note. Someone has seen and, more importantly, _read_ his note. It’s out there somewhere, probably being picked apart for clues that will somehow inevitably lead back to him.

“This… is a problem.” Hinata breathes shakily. Then: “Oh, I’m so screwed.”


	2. sincerely

“What’s he doing sitting in the middle of the gym like that?”

“I dunno, but he’s been like this for ten minutes.”

“Should we... say something?”

“Do _you_ wanna get your head ripped off? Because _I_ —“

“Will all of you just _shut up_?!” Kageyama growls, finally growing tired of the chatter. He turns to glare at his rowdy teammates, who flinch and collectively lower their eyes—all except for Nishinoya, that is, who takes his outburst as an invitation to sit down.

“What’s your problem, dude? And what’s with this note?” He leans closer. “ _‘I probably maybe am definitely in love...’_ Wait, is this a _love letter_?” He snatches it up quicker than Kageyama can react. “Oh man. Guys, come look at this!”

“ _Nishinoya_ —“ Kageyama lunges for him, but the libero is too fast and the paper is quickly in Tanaka’s hands.

“Dude, this is serious,” he says, passing the note to a second-year to keep it out of Kageyama's hands. “Someone’s got their eyes on you, bro!”

“Yeah?” Kageyama gives up on the note, which has traveled too far to track with his eyes anymore. “But _who_?”

Girls have confessed to him before, but nobody’s ever left him an anonymous note—let alone on a _public message board_. Kageyama would try to write it off as a prank, but who would post an _anonymous_ confession as a joke? He can’t puzzle it out. _Nothing_ about this situation makes any sense.

“Who indeed...” Nishinoya reclaims the note and spreads it out on the gym floor, very business-like. “Why don’t you just ask them?”

“Ask?” Kageyama repeats incredulously. He sits down, lips pursed in mild confusion. “What, like… just write back _‘Who are you?’_ or something?”

“That’s a good start.” Nishinoya pauses. “Oh, but put ‘are’ in capital letters so they know you’re not playing. But none of the other words.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Tanaka agrees. “On a piece of— Shit, somebody got paper? Anybody? Ah, cool.” He collects a sheet of loose-lead from a first-year and passes it down with a pencil. “Yeah, now write it out exactly like that.”

Kageyama hesitates. He isn’t even sure he _wants_ to know who wrote it. He’s never been interested in dating, so does it matter? Then again, he _is_ a bit curious about what kind of person would write something so bold, then leave it anonymous. His high school life has been entirely uneventful until this messy little note: if its sender can provide some adventure, maybe replying won’t be so bad.

“Just _‘who ARE you?’_ ” he asks eventually, decisively squaring his shoulders into writing position. “Are you sure that’s good? Will they even respond to that?”

“Dude, I’m certain,” Tanaka assures. “If they really like you, they’ll probably be psyched you noticed the note, and also wrote back at all. Right, Noya?”

“Definitely.” The libero slaps the paper. “Now _write_. Oh, dude, not like _that_ — God, your handwriting is awful. Do that part again.”

“I’m only writing _three words_. And their handwriting is way worse than mine—“

“Just _do it again_. And don’t write the R like that, it’s weird. Geez, this will take all night at this rate...”

***  *  *  *  ***

Kageyama has never spent so much time on writing in his entire life, let alone writing a single sentence. The note is almost _too_ perfect when he pins it to the message board: definitely nothing like his normal handwriting. Or maybe this is what it would look like if he meticulously _tried_ for an hour every time he had to take notes.

 _‘who ARE you?’_ seems like a pretty good conversation starter, at least.

“Kageyama, you’re spending too much time at the scene of the crime,” Nishinoya scolds, dragging him away by the arm. “The sooner you leave, the sooner your secret admirer will come back. How do you not know this?”

Kageyama brushes him off irritably. “Yeah, I got it. But do you honestly think they’ll still be here, anyway? Anybody who isn’t in a sports club has already gone home.”

“Maybe they _are_ in a sports club,” Tanaka replies with a shrug. “I mean, it was a guy who wrote it, so maybe—“

Kageyama stumbles, running straight into a trash bin. “ _What_?”

“Dude, it’s _obvious_ ,” Nishinoya scoffs. “You can tell a lot about someone based off their handwriting: I took a class on it. For example, the guy who wrote your note is probably short, maybe around five-two, and he isn’t very good at academics.”

Kageyama narrows his eyes. “You’re making that all up to fuck with me,” he accuses. “You are, right?”

“Nope. It’s definitely a guy,” Tanaka answers for him. “Even I can tell.”

“A guy? Why the hell am I replying, then?”

“Hey, don’t be stupid.” Nishinoya catches his arm when he tries to turn back. “It’s the twenty-first century, Kageyama: you love a person for who they are, not for their gender. You should at least give this poor guy a chance. He really seems to like you a lot, for _some_ reason.”

“Don’t forget that I’m your team captain,” Kageyama reminds him irritably. “Get off. I won’t take it down, alright? But I’m _not_ gay.”

“Never said you were.” Nishinoya releases Kageyama's arm and flashes an annoying grin. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat ramen!”

“I hate ramen. Pick something else.”

“So rude. That’s why only guys will ever have crushes on you, Kageya— _OW_!”

“Whatever. Fuck you guys.” Kageyama storms past the idiots he calls teammates. “I’m going home. Don’t be late for practice tomorrow or you’re on cleanup duty.”

“Yes, sir,” Nishinoya drones before bursting into laughter. “We’ll keep an eye out for your mystery man!”

Kageyama flips him off over his shoulder. “Fuck off. Now you’re on cleanup duty whether you’re late or not.”

“Such a dictator... I need ramen to cheer me up.”

***  *  *  *  ***

Kageyama lies awake staring at the note, mind racing in circles. Did a boy really write it, or were those two just messing with him? The handwriting is bad, sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s _definitely_ written by a guy…

Shit, he can’t stop thinking about it. Nishinoya said gender doesn’t matter, and that might be true, but… _Ugh_. Everything is way too complicated now. What the hell will he do if he gets a response? What will it say? Will they sign their name this time? Kageyama supposes he shouldn’t say ‘they’ anymore: will _he_ sign his name? Putting a face to phrases like ‘I think I love you’ makes his heart race.

“What kind of person is he, I wonder...” Kageyama mutters quietly, flipping onto his back to stare at the dark ceiling. There isn’t an answer up there, but it helps to stare at a blank canvas.

What kind of person writes an anonymous love note, anyway? What’s the _point_? If you’re going to confess, you should just be straightforward about it. Well… okay, maybe posting a note on the message board _is_ straightforward, but leaving it unsigned definitely isn’t. It pisses Kageyama off the longer he thinks about it.

“Why’d you have to do this?” he grumbles at the note, running his fingers across the letters. They’re messy, but in a cute and nervous way, like the writer’s hands were shaking. “Why do you like me? Why _me_?” He drops the note to his chest with a sigh. “Who _are_ you?”

The note obviously doesn’t answer. Kageyama sighs and rolls over to stick it in his bag. All he can think about is if another note will be waiting for him tomorrow, and what it might say. If he posted anonymously, his secret admirer won’t give up his identity that easily.

Dammit… Why does Kageyama want to know so badly, anyway? He doesn’t have time for romance with interhigh and exams coming up, but now he can’t get this stupid letter out of his mind. Now that he knows there’s a random guy out there with a crush on him, how is he supposed to act like everything is normal?

Shit. Writing back to him is basically an invitation to get to know each other. Is he stupid? Why’d he listen to those idiots Tanaka and Noya in the first place? It’s not like they know anything about romance.

Wait, no. This _isn’t_ going to be a romance.

 _Dammit_ , Kageyama’s head is messed up beyond belief. He should’ve just thrown that shitty note away.

“Stupid!” He punches the wall, then immediately yelps. “Fuck, _ow_.”

“TOBIO, WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_?! SHUT UP AND _GO TO SLEEP_!”

“Shit, fuck, _dammit_ … I’m sorry!”

As if he’ll be able to get any sleep. Will there be another note tomorrow? Will he have even _more_ to worry about? If he doesn’t get to bed soon, he’ll be dead at practice tomorrow.

***  *  *  *  ***

“Dude, you’ve got bags under your eyes.” Noya pokes Kageyama’s cheek to make his point. “You look like a zombie.”

“Fuck off,” Kageyama mutters, slapping his hand away. “I couldn’t sleep night because of you.”

“Wow, I’m so flattered.”

“That's not what I— You asshole.” Kageyama pushes him into the volleyball net. “I mean… I couldn’t stop thinking about that damn letter. Why’d you have to say all that shit yesterday? It messed up my head and— Don’t make that expression.”

“What expression?”

“That… _That_. Stop it.” Kageyama covers his face to hide his embarrassed flush. “I can’t believe you got me to think so hard about this…”

“Captain, there’s another note for you!” a first-year shouts from the entrance to the gym. He’s holding a paper in his left hand. “Tanaka-senpai sent it back with me and—“

Kageyama snatches it from his hand with a silencing glare. “ _One more word_ and you’re running laps. Go practice with the others.”

The kid runs off, and Kageyama turns his wrath on Nishinoya. “How many people did you bastards tell about this?”

“Um… just, like, the whole team?”

“The whole—“ Kageyama starts to say, voice cracking when Noya grabs the note from his hand. “Hey, give that back! _Nishinoya_!”

“Don’t you want to know what it says?” the libero replies coyly, easily dancing around him. “ _‘I’m too shy to tell you.’_ Aw, how cute. And he said he really admires you! Captain, this guy is adorable.”

“Give me that already!” Kageyama snatches the note forcefully. He wants to get rid of it just to spite Nishinoya, but his eyes are already skimming over the words. _‘_ _i’m too shy to tell you who i am… i know i’m a coward, sorry... but i’ve admired you for a long time, so i need some more time to build up courage. i never thought you’d reply. why did you?’_

Shit. That really _is_ adorable. He kind of wants to reply now… Dammit, what the hell has Kageyama gotten himself into?

“Aw, you’re blushing,” Noya coos, dodging a punch. “Hey, you better relax there, buddy. Do you want help replying or not?”

“Ugh…” Kageyama thinks about murdering him for half a second longer before lowering his fist. “Fine. What should I say?”

“Tell him that you understand and you don’t think he’s a coward.” Noya gestures impatiently. “Hurry up. I’m gonna start charging you for this.”

“Shut up,” Kageyama grumbles, pressing the fresh sheet of paper Noya hands him against the gym floor. “Start talking before I hit you.”

“Okay, okay, geez: write this _exactly_.” He clears his throat. “ _‘I don’t think you’re a coward. I replied because you took the time to confess, and—‘_ “

“That doesn’t sound anything like me,” Kageyama scoffs. “I’m not writing that sappy bullshit.” He stands up and shoves the paper in his bag. “Start practice, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“What? But where are you—“

Kageyama ignores him and heads toward the message board in the east wing. He’ll just write a quick reply and… Shit, he’s totally invested now, isn’t he? Dammit. What does he even want to say? What does he want to get out of this?

“This is stupid,” Kageyama mutters to himself. But he’s still going to write back. He crouches beside the board and pulls out the paper, scribbling out the first thing he thinks of.

 _‘i wrote back just because i wanted to.’_ He hesitates. _‘and i don’t think you’re a coward, but can you at least tell me the first letter of your name or something? so i know what to call you. i don’t want to pressure you, but i can’t keep calling you ‘anonymous’’_ Kageyama huffs and erases the last sentence. _‘since you know mine, it’s more than fair,’_ he corrects. It seems like a good start.

Kageyama looks both ways before pinning it to the board and retreating—even though there’s no reason to be cautious. If anything, he should stick around to watch for his secret admirer. But leaving Tanaka and Noya alone to lead practice is a terrible idea.

Dammit. Kageyama’s actually almost… _excited_ about getting another note. And whether he likes it or not, he’s definitely going to reply again.


End file.
